Loser from tomorrow
The plan was to escape immediately;
To leave whatever I had immediately,
To abandon the unimaginable workload, the strained relationships, the pattern
All at once.
All of these just to fall in another pattern just right after,
What a tragedy.
The sudden flight, the iron-like taste in mouth of leaving, the coiling pain in my stomach,
Still, I was hopeful to have a new life, a new beginning.
And then there was I,
Waiting for the snow to fall slow,
Waiting for the bus number 65,
Clicking on the “buy ticket” button hysterically after getting declined for the fifth time.
Panicking, after panicking; I’m panicking.
When I’m at home making something to eat,
I dunk my thought in my tea.
The hope drowns but the anxiety remains.
So my next plan is,
Escape from it immediately.
Once again.
And maybe once and for all.
